Now’s the time to reserve for our July 12 meeting!

The July 12 meeting of Women’s Forum will feature Brenda Black, CTP, Tourism Manager for Harrisonburg Tourism & Visitor Services. She will discuss “Fun Things To Do In And Around Harrisonburg,” introducing us to some new ideas and a few old favorites. Learn about Friday on the Square (Harrisonburg), Jazz in the Park (Staunton), local and regional museums and hiking opportunities, as well as what events are coming up in the next few weeks.

Women’s Forum Monthly Meeting
Thursday, July 12
12N-1PM

Brenda Black, CTP, Tourism Manager
Harrisonburg Tourism & Visitor Services
“Fun Things To Do In & Around Harrisonburg”

Meet the WF Member: Margo McIntire

Members: $15
Guests: $20

Please reserve by July 10, noon:
Reserve online: Click on above blue link
Call Lois: 540.820.3840
Email Lois: lcf @ marketingideashop.com

~Lois

Database/Direct Mail Assistant

Harrisonburg-Rockingham Free Clinic
25 W. Water Street
Harrisonburg, VA 22801

Date: June 2007
Contact: Rose Garrison, Resource Development Director 540-437-4961

Specifics:
This is a volunteer opportunity requiring 10-15 hours/week. Work time is flexible. Interested candidates should complete the volunteer application at www.hrfreeclinic.org

Chief objective of the position:
Ensure that donations are accurately recorded, tracked and reported and the Resource Development Director has the administrative support needed to effectively raise funds and manage public relations and outreach.

Primary purpose of the position:

1. Enter data in the donor database and produce acknowledgement letters

2. Produce reports and queries as needed

3. Provide support for direct mail/public outreach activities

Core Responsibilities and Measures:

1. Enter donations, deposits, and other pertinent information in the database. Entries are made within seven working days of receipt and are checked for accuracy. Glitches are reported to supervisor

2. Produce donor acknowledgement letters
Letters are checked for accuracy and completed within seven working days of receipt.

3. Update donor records
Entries, such as deaths and significant donor events, are made and reported to supervisor each week.

4. Produce reports and queries
Cross check reports and queries for accuracy

5. Assist in the direct mail process including newsletters and donor appeals
Direct mail pieces (generally three/yr) are produced and mailed in accordance with the pre-arranged schedule.

6. Help with other projects related to resource development as time allows

Overriding departmental value:
Maintain positive relationships with coworkers, volunteers, patients, and others based on courtesy, compassion, and respect.

Qualifications:
General knowledge of fundraising, especially database management and direct mail helpful. Some college is preferred. Strong computer skills in word processing and spreadsheet applications required. Other computer skills, such as Access, PowerPoint and desktop publishing, are helpful.

~Lois

It wouldn’t be funny if it wasn’t so true…

To commemorate her 69th birthday on October 1, 2004 actress/vocalist, Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan’s Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP. One of the musical numbers she performed was “My Favorite Things” from the legendary movie Sound Of Music.

Here are the lyrics she used:

Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Cadillac’s and cataracts, and hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the pipes leak,
When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don’t feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Back pains, confused brains, and no need for sinnin’,
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin’,
And we won’t mention our short, shrunken frames,
When we remember our favorite things.

When the joints ache,
When the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I’ve had,
And then I don’t feel so bad!

(Ms. Andrews received a standing ovation from the crowd that lasted over four minutes and repeated encores.)

~Lois

Thank you to Bernie Mathes for renewing her annual membership this month!

~Lois

Attending Women’s Forum has gotten just a wee bit more expensive as of July 1. The rates at the Spotswood Country Club have gone up, which means our fee for attending must go up.

Members will now pay: $15 per meeting
Guests will now pay: $20 per meeting

But the meals and atmosphere are delightful! Join us July 12. More on the meeting later.

~Lois

An Explanation of God from the 8-Year-Old’s Perspective

“One of God’s main jobs is making people. He makes
them to replace the ones that die, so there will be
enough people to take care of things on earth.

He doesn’t make grownups, just babies. I think because
they are smaller and easier to make. That way He
doesn’t have to take up His valuable time teaching
them to talk and walk He can just leave that to
mothers and fathers.”

“God’s second most important job is listening to
prayers. An awful lot of this goes on, since some
people, like preachers and things, pray at times
beside bedtime. God doesn’t have time to listen to the
radio or TV because of this. Because He hears
everything, there must be a terrible lot of noise in
His ears, unless He has thought of a way to turn it
off.”

“God sees everything and hears everything and is
everywhere which keeps Him pretty busy. So you
shouldn’t go wasting His time by going over your Mom
and Dad’s head asking for something they said you
couldn’t have.”

“Atheists are people who don’t believe in God. I don’t
think there are any in Chula Vista. At least there
aren’t any who come to our church.”

“Jesus is God’s Son. He used to do all the hard work
like walking on water and performing miracles and
trying to teach the people who didn’t want to learn
about God. They finally got tired of Him preaching to
them and they crucified Him. But He was good and
kind, like His Father , and He told His Father that
they didn’t know what they were doing and to forgive
them and God said O.K.”

“His Dad (God) appreciated everything that He had done
and all His hard work on earth so He told Him He
didn’t have to go out on the road anymore. He could
stay in heaven. So He did. And now He helps His Dad
out by listening to prayers and seeing things which
are important for God to take care of and which ones
He can take care of Himself without having to bother
God. Like a secretary, only more important.”

“You can pray anytime you want and they are sure to
help you because they got it worked out so one of them
is on duty all the time.”

“You should always go to church because it makes God
happy, and if there’s anybody you want to make happy,
it’s God.

Don’t skip church or do something you think will be
more fun like going to the beach. This is wrong. And
besides the sun doesn’t come out at the beach until
noon! anyway.”

“If you don’t believe in God, besides being an
atheist, you will be very lonely, because your
parents can’t go everywhere with you, like to camp,
but God can. It is good to know He’s around you when
you’re scared, in the dark or when you can’t swim and
you get thrown into real deep water by big kids.”

“But…you shouldn’t just always think of what God can
do for you. I figure God put me here and He can take
me back anytime He pleases. And…that’s why I believe
in God.”

~Lois

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most
people die of natural causes.

Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are
removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it
comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a
replacement.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but
you still can’t help but smile when you see one tumble down the
stairs.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals
dying of nothing.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one
talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the
world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes
a whole box to start a campfire?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll
squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”

Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there? I’m gonna
eat the next thing that comes outta its backside.”

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but
don’t point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they
are going to look up there anyway?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from
morons?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad
at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out
the window?

Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

~Lois

This book is the only one you’ll need if you are planning to adopt a child. It is filled with practical advice, stories of success (and a few failures), and loads of online resources divided by state. Priced at just $34.95, this book can help you get through the process, whether it’s a local, foreign or direct adoption. There are even useful tips for the birth mother.

Mardie Caldwell, the author, certainly knows what she’s talking about. It’s available in paperback through Amazon.com and most bookstores.

~Lois

I love it when I find websites with interesting information for women and girls. Here are three I found today:

Cool Careers for Girls

Feminist.com

The Women’s Network

~Lois

When the receptionist offers to send you into a person’s
voicemail, politely accept the offer–not with the
intention of leaving a message, mind you, but to learn
what you can. If this is a person you haven’t met, you
can find out how they pronounce their name. This is
gaining more importance as Asian, Eastern European
and Arabic immigrants move up the U.S. corporate
ladder to the role of decision-makers.

The message may tell you they are out of the office for a
while, so you’ll know when to call back. They may give a
cell phone number or refer you to another person in their
absence.

You’ll also learn whether they use their given name or a
nickname. (Your lead form may say Richard Conrad Reynolds
IV, but he may go by “Buddy” or “Junior” or Conrad.) When
you phone again, you’ll sound more professional when you use
his nickname.

~Lois