A husband was in BIG trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary.

“Tomorrow,” his wife angrily told him, “there had better be something in our driveway that goes from zero to 200 in two seconds flat!”

The next morning, the wife looked outside and saw a small package in the driveway. She brought it inside, opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Funeral services for her husband have been set for Saturday.

~Lois

A man was telling his neighbor in Trailer Estates, “I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.”

“Really,” answered the neighbor. “What kind is it?”

“Twelve thirty.”

~Lois

A man was walking home alone late one foggy night,

when behind him he hears:

BUMP…

(more…)

~Lois

Two elderly people living in Trailer Estates had known each other for a number of years. He was a widower and she was a widow.

One evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. The two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal progressed, he took a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered the courage to ask her, “Will you marry me?”

After about six seconds of careful consideration, she answered, “Yes. Yes, I will.”

The meal ended and, with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective homes.

The next morning he was troubled. “Did she say ‘yes’ or did she say ‘no’?” He couldn’t remember. Try as he might, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her. First, he explained that he didn’t remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage, he inquired, “When I asked if you would marry me, did you say ‘Yes’ or did you say ‘No’?”

He was delighted to hear her say, “Why, I said, ‘Yes, yes I will’ and I meant it with all my heart.” Then she continued, “I am so glad that you called, because I couldn’t remember who had asked me.

~Lois

Life in the Trailer Estates

A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in Trailer Estates, a Florida mobile home park. A man walks over and sits down on the other end of the bench. After a few moments, the woman asks, “Are you a stranger here?”

He replies, “I lived here years ago.”

“So, where were you all these years?”

“In prison,” he says.

“Why did they put you in prison?”

He looked at her, and very quietly says, “I killed my wife.”

“Oh!” replies the woman. “So you’re single…”

~Lois