From TeAchology

During the last session of our teaching workshop, participants were asked to state their personal goals for the immediate future. One teacher vowed to update photo albums, another to lose weight. The goal that got the most response, however, was given by a kindergarten teacher. “I resolve to exercise until I can complete a 20-minute workout in less than an hour,” she said.

~Lois

The new supermarket opened near my house and has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just
before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

But I think it’s getting out of hand.

When you approach the milk case, you hear cows mooing and catch a whiff of fresh hay.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens clucking and cackling and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

The meat department has a background “sizzle” and the slight odor of a charcoal grill.

But now, I refuse to go in anymore, after walking down the toilet paper aisle….

~Lois

The buzzword in today’s business world is MARKETING. However, people often ask for a simple explanation of “Marketing.” Personally, I don’t think that’s possible since there are several parts to marketing–for example:

You’re a woman, and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, “I’m fantastic in bed. Would you like to see for yourself?” That’s Direct Marketing.

You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. You ask one of your friends to go up to him, point at you and say, “She’s fantastic in bed.” When he does this, that’s Advertising.

You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, “Hi, I’m fantastic in bed. Would you like to see for yourself?” That’s Telemarketing.

You see a guy at a party, you straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, “May I?” and reach up to straighten his tie, brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, “By the way, I’m fantastic in bed.” And your friend, who is standing nearby, says, “It’s true!” That’s Public Relations.

You’re at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, “I hear you’re fantastic in bed.” That’s Brand Recognition.

You’re at a party and see a handsome guy. He fancies you, but you talk him into going home with your friend. That’s a Sales Rep.

Your friend can’t satisfy him so he calls you. That’s Tech Support.

And if you do all of the above, that’s Marketing.

~Lois

The Optimist says, “The glass is half full.”
The Pessimist says, “The glass is half empty.”

The Marketing Consultant says,
“Your glass needs re-sizing.”

And Bill Gates says,
“The glass is always full.” (The part that is “empty” is
filled with air.)

~Lois